TAKING CARA BABIES TAKES CARA MAMAS TOO
Christmas Eve 2018: Santa asks Georgie what she wants for Christmas.
I need silent nights, y’all. Badly. Last year, we used our Christmas cards to announce our pregnancy, but when I was looking for inspiration, I came across a card that said: We Gave Up Silent Nights For a Bundle of Joy. Sure, that’s cute and clever and all, but man did it give me some extreme anxiety. Why can’t I have both? I want a bundle of joy and silent nights! Is that too much to ask? Anyone? Santa?
Before we had Georgie, I was terrified of sleep deprivation. It was by far my biggest fear for many reasons ranging from simply knowing I hate feeling exhausted to being deeply concerned about postpartum depression - which is far more common in women who are sleep deprived. I lost my dad just two years before I gave birth to our little girl, and since then I have struggled with some anxiety issues. I knew my emotional state was fragile, and was concerned sleep deprivation would only exacerbate my grief. Knowing my dad will never meet any of my children, was (and still is) very difficult to cope with. What’s even worse? I felt like anytime I voiced these concerns, I was met with a lot of eye rolls and comments like, “Well good luck because you’ll never sleep again,” as though sleep deprivation is a necessary part of parenthood. Some comments even implied that I was lazy or selfish for wanting to sleep, and let me tell you, I was having none of that. It always baffles me when people announce proudly they don’t need sleep. Sleep is healthy. Physically, it gives your body time to heal, and emotionally, it can be a much-needed restart. My dad used to say that sleep is magic, and I believe those are words to live by.
Enter: Taking Cara Babies’ online newborn class aptly titled, Will I Ever Sleep Again? Taking Cara Babies was first recommended to me early in my pregnancy by a friend in Minnesota. I started following Cara on Instagram, and fell hard and fast for her science-based philosophies. She’s a neonatal nurse and supermom, her soothing voice rivals Julie Andrews’, and she’s created an inclusive, judgment-free space for parents to listen, ask and learn. Just keeping up with her Instastories and blog posts gave me an intricate infant sleep education through real-life anecdotes, Q+A sessions, and feedback from other moms. After seeing such a plethora of diverse success stories, I finally got smart and ordered the First Five Month Bundle, which is her newborn course plus months three and four. My husband and I took the newborn portion when I was 8 months pregnant, which I highly recommend. Even though it’s applicable any time between months 0-12, I loved going into my labor and delivery feeling like I had a flexible routine to follow once Georgie came into this world. The class is made up of videos with real babies, which is pretty impressive if you ask me. Reading sleep books is such a struggle because, sure, it all sounds great in theory, but does that actually work? In Cara’s newborn course (it’s a no cry method, btw) you get to watch her swaddle a baby and teach that baby to fall asleep independently, which is something to BEHOLD, especially when you’re an exhausted mama. She doesn’t tell you something works, she shows you… with multiple fussy newborns. It’s borderline witchcraft.
By 14 weeks old, Georgie had weaned herself off night feedings, and was sleeping through the night – for the most part. She had some really challenging reflux and weight loss issues. We’d have a rough night here or there, but if it wasn’t health related, I could usually figure out where we’d gone wrong during the day and learn from it. Many times, I would re-watch certain videos to refresh my memory and at times “trouble shoot” the problem. Nights became such smooth sailing that when it came time to transition her out the Snoo and into the crib (around 6 months), I was absolutely terrified. I had a really good thing going here, and I didn’t need a stupid ol’ crib cramping my sleep style. So, at about five months, I started trying some transitional sleep gear, but Georgie was hardcore rejecting everything from “one arm out” to the magic sleep suit, to the Halo sleep sack. After each failed attempt, I ended up just swaddling her and putting her back in the Snoo, where she fell asleep instantly and for twelve hours. I quickly realized I was just going to have to go cold turkey with all the sleep gear, so I bought Cara’s next course, “The ABC’s of Sleep,” waited until I had a solid two-week window with no plans, and I followed that thing perfectly. Within four nights, Georgie was sleeping twelve hours uninterrupted in her big girl crib with just her jammies and about 800 binkies. No, seriously, her crib is basically a ball pit of binkies… And I’m not sorry about it.
Now, will we ever have a bad night? Of course. Will I let that discourage me? Not a chance. One of the most important things Cara taught me is this: baby sleep is not linear. This is crucial to remember, especially in the early days because you absolutely must stick with your plan and avoid falling into bad habits and sleep crutches – like feeding to sleep – no matter how tempting it is at 3AM. Trust me on this, tomorrow is always a new day, and if you stick to the plan, it pays off in ways you couldn’t even imagine. In my case, Georgie’s sleep success had a domino effect on my own sleep, career and general happiness. In no particular order, here are the top five things in my life that improved after implementing The ABC’s of Sleep:
MY MARRIAGE: We tried to get pregnant for a very long time, experienced a few chemical pregnancies, and were even told by fertility specialists that we’d never conceive naturally, so we are obviously incredibly grateful for our baby girl. However, I believe it’s still extremely important to nurture your relationship with your partner, especially during such a huge life transition. For Andy and me, that can be as simple as snuggling on the couch, having a nice dinner at home or watching movies in bed. Knowing Georgie has a set bedtime routine (which we love to do together whenever possible) means we have built-in time every evening to reconnect; this has really helped us merge life before baby with life after baby. Oh, I also yell less because I’m not sleep deprived. (wink!)
Check out the MVP of travel: The Slumber Pod. Here it is creating a blackout room in my childhood bedroom in MN that is pretty much wall-to-wall windows.
OUR ABILITY TO TRAVEL: Georgie’s routine can get screwed up five hundred different ways with airport delays and road trips gone wrong, but I know the second we do her bedtime routine and stick her in a dark room (we use and love the slumber pod), she will sleep twelve hours and wake up happy and ready to face a new day. We use all of Cara’s travel recommendations (get the slumber pod, people) and have never experienced any sleep setbacks.
MY ANXIETY: I no longer fear a lack of sleep. I no longer doubt my ability to be a good mother. I don’t dread bedtime – in fact – our bedtime routine has become such a special time of day for our whole family. Anxiety was previously a real problem for me that has been profoundly improved by Taking Cara Babies.
MY MOMMY INSTINCTS/CONFIDENCE: As a new mom, I felt so helpless and frustrated when my baby was upset and couldn’t communicate what she needed. In the newborn class, Cara teaches how to differentiate between sleepy cues and hunger cues, but as time goes on, the routine you create through Taking Cara Babies’ guidance can help you recognize so many other things your baby is trying to tell you. For example, if Georgie cries in the middle of the night for more than five minutes, I know something is wrong, and I go check on her. If she’s not cold, doesn’t have a dirty diaper or a fever, then I know her reflux is probably bothering her, and I give her a dose of her reflux medication and put her back down. So far, this has always worked, but I know the day it doesn’t, we are heading straight to the Pediatrican. Speaking of, it’s worth noting that Georgie has cut a few teeth now, and no matter how fussy she is during the day, she’s had zero sleep setbacks.
MY CAREER: I absolutely cannot write when I am sleep deprived. I just stare at the computer and panic that I’ll never ever have a produced credit in Hollywood. Since The ABC’s of Sleep, I’ve written a new movie, a new pilot, and I’ve started this blog. Sleep is magic everyone.
Taking Cara Babies has not only given Georgie an excellent sleep foundation she’ll carry with her for life, but has also given Andy and I some priceless gifts. When you watch Cara do what she does, you just know instantly, and without doubt, that she is doing exactly what she was put on this earth to do. She once shared with her followers that not one person came to her first sleep class. Andy uses that story to encourage me any time I’m experiencing self-doubt in my own career. Cara is living proof that with love, passion, expertise, and maybe a little sleep… anything is possible.
Merry Christmas, everyone! The Fickmans will be over in Minnesota celebrating a very special Silent Night.
